Open Day Weekend
by The Familiar
Summary: Dib finds out something about his father and the town


Sing too-ra-li oo-ra-li-iddity,

Sing too-ra-li oo-ri-li-ay!

Sing too-ra-li oo-ra-li-iddity,

For we got a new story today!

- - ---- --- -- -

'And remember _class_' Miss Bitters hissed, 'tomorrow is the Annual Membrane Labs Open Day Weekend, and you should all go to see the studies you will eventually be used as guinea pigs in.'

Zim's eyebrow cocked at this. A chance to see inside the labs of the most advanced scientist on this planet, and get to rub it into Dibs face? This was too good to refuse. 'See you there, _Dib_.' Zim shouted over the noise of the children leaving the room. 'I'll be sure to take notes on your planets defences.'

'No!' Dib shouted, then he remembered something. 'Did you here than, he said our planet, not his!' But he was yelling to an empty classroom.

'Get out of here before you're locked in and die a hideous, slow death.' Miss Bitters lurked behind her desk, glaring at the last remaining student. Dib quickly fled the room.

-----

'I can't believe it Gaz, Zim's going to be in Dad's labs! Imagine the horrible things he could do!'

'If you don't stop talking, Dib, you won't have to imagine horrible things. They'll be happening to you.' She glared at him to prove her point.

'But Gaz-'

'Horrible things Dib... Horrible.'

They turned onto the path leading to their house. The door opened in front of them and they were met with a floating head on a screen.

'Hello children.' The head said.

'Hi dad.' Gaz and Dib chorused back.

'Remember that tomorrow is the lab open day, but you can't come and visit me. No buts, if I see you, you will be in big trouble. Have a nice night, and remember: enjoy your schooling!' The screen switched off.

'See Gaz! I have to go, despite what dad says! The world depends on it!'

Gaz shrugged. She wanted to see what trouble Dib got into.

-----

Dib woke up early the next morning. He was going to go to the Membrane Labs Open Day Weekend for the first time in his life. He pulled on a rarely worn green t-shirt and left his trademark trench coat behind. 'Dad won't recognise me if I don't wear my normal clothes.' Then he frowned. 'Why was I thinking out loud?'

He shrugged and left the house, tip-toeing past Gaz who was up early and watching infomercials. 'Little piggies...' he heard her mumble in her sleep.

Dib grinned and snuck silently out the door. It wouldn't be that hard to get to Membrane labs today. All the busses went there, and there were free cab services taking people there. He stood at the bus stop next to a man in a tie-dyed shirt, and waited. And waited. And waited.

Dib looked at his watch. Zim could already have tampered with all the equipment Membrane had! The world might be ending, and Dib was standing at the bus stop. He waited a few more moments then looked at his watch again. The bus was 10 minutes late! 'How can I save the world when the busses don't run on time?' He questioned to the sky.

'Chill out little man.' The guy said. 'I used to be like that before I found weed, man.' He sighed. 'Nothing's more relaxing than pulling weeds from your garden, and now my roses are blooming, man. All the colours of the rainbow.'

'Uh, sure.' Dib moved to the side a little bit. He waited a few more minutes, then the bus pulled into sight. 'Finally.' Dib sat in an empty seat and waited for the bus to leave.

-----

One hour later the bus pulled up outside of Membrane labs. People shuffled off the bus in a line, but Dib went off to the side. He looked around and saw guards pointing people through the doors, and giving them directions. Dib tiptoed off to the side of the building and went looking for the staff entrance.

He found a door and went up to it. 'Hey!' a whiny voice called out, 'you're not supposed to go in there!'

Dib looked around and saw a guard. 'Of course I can go in here.' He kept a careful eye on the guards shock stick. 'You're the one that's not allowed in here.'

'Yeah.' The guard said, 'but I'm also not allowed to let anyone else in.'

'Well, that's good.' Dib said. 'You should probably be stopping them from getting in, too.' He pointed towards a couple of squirrels that were sitting on boxes.

'You're right! Stay here while I get rid of them.' He ran off to get the squirrels with his shock stick.

Dib crept through the door, glad that everybody was so stupid. When he entered the building he looked around in awe. 'It's empty.' he breathed quietly, slightly surprised. The halls were empty of staff and guards. 'Zim must have already completed his evil scheme, and taken everyone away! Noooo!!!' Dib dropped to his knees.

'Ah well,' Dib then said, standing up and brushing his knees off. 'I might as well look around, in case there are survivors.'

He set off, opening the first door he came across and looking inside. It was neat and empty. He shrugged and moved on to the next door, then the next. 'Something's wrong.' He muttered to himself. 'Zim usually creates a mess wherever he goes, and if Zim's not making a mess, his stupid robot sidekick does. But, there's no mess here, so maybe Zims plan has failed, or he hasn't arrived yet!' He stopped in his deductions. 'But then why is everything so quiet?'

Dib passed several more empty rooms, and decided that his conclusions were solid. 'Zim can't be here yet.' He said, opening another door. He gave it a cursory look, then went 'Ooooh.'

Inside the room were monitors feeding directly from cameras placed in the labs. Dib could see everything from here. He went over to one of the chairs and sat in it, collapsing into its pillowy softness. He pulled himself out of the chair and stood in front of the screens.

On the screens he expected to see people milling about, staring and pointing at things, while flustered scientists tried to stop them from touching. Instead there were just rows and rows of people, lining the corridors.

Dib followed one of the rows to its end and found that everyone was standing waiting in front of a door. Every few seconds someone would enter the room, there would be a flash of light, then somebody else would enter.

Dib fiddled with the controls for a few seconds, but couldn't see inside the rooms. 'If I had my laptop with me...' he muttered. Of course, he had left it at home, not thinking he would need it on this adventure.

He pressed a few more buttons, then stopped on an interesting screen. He could see a solitary figure wandering the halls, looking confused and slightly unstable. He focused in on the figure and saw that it was Zim. 'HA! Whatever you were planning failed Zim!' He looked around slightly embarrassed. It would probably have been better to have exclaimed that if Zim was there to hear it. He took note of the corridor Zim was in, then left the room.

-----

After five minutes of walking the halls he heard a thumping sound nearby. He went to the corner of the corridor and looked over sneakily. Zim was sitting in the hall bouncing a ball against the opposite wall.

'I've got you now Zim!' Dib shouted, jumping out at Zim.

'Aaah!' Zim screamed, scrabbling away from dib in alarm. 'Dib!' He shouted pointing at Dib. 'What are _you_ doing here?'

'I came to stop your plan, Zim! You won't get away with it!'

'Eh?' Zim asked, confused. 'What plan?'

'You won't get me that easily Zim! I know you're just trying to trick me.'

'No, really. What plan did I have?' Zim looked about himself. 'I must have had a plan. A brilliant plan! But I can't quite recall it.' He looked at the ball in his hand. 'Is this yours?'

'You won't trick me that easily Zim.' Dib was a bit concerned now. 'You know that ball isn't mine.'

'No!' Zim screeched. 'It's my ball! And such a great ball it is, not worthy of _you_.'

'Yeah, yeah. Get out of my way, Zim.' He pushed past Zim and down the corridor. 'I still have to find out what's going on.'

Zim grabbed his sleeve. 'Don't go! Zim orders you to stop!'

Dib sighed and rolled his eyes. 'What now Zim?'

'Get me out of here. You have to.'

Dib pushed Zim away. 'Find your own way. You got yourself in here.'

Zim stood in silence as Dib walked down the corridor. 'If you get me out of here, I'll give you my ball.' he called out.

Dib stopped and turned around. 'No, Zim. I'm not getting you out of here.' He glared at Zim.

Zim gave him a defeated look in return, and Dib sighed. 'Fine, you can follow me, but if you get in my way, I'm going to leave you behind.' Then he turned and walked off, hearing a small patter of Zims boots running to catch up with him.

-----

Dib turned a corner and instantly flattened himself behind it again. Zim walked past him into the corridor. 'No, Zim, get back here' Dib whispered out to Zim, but it was too late.

'Hey, kid! A guard yelled. 'What are you doing out here, did you get lost?'

'Of course not! Zim does not get lost. I was merely... strolling. Yes, that's what I was doing.'

The guard sighed and walked up to Zim. 'I know how confusing it can be after you've been processed, so I'll just take you back to the path and you can leave. That way there won't be any unpleasantness' He handled his shock stick threateningly.

Dib silently begged for Zim to leave with the guard and not give him away.

'Finally somebody's going to let me leave this stupid place.' Dib sighed quietly. His prayers had been answered. 'Dib was no help in getting me out. He should know this place, but he's just another stupid worm.'

'Dib?' The guard asked, 'you saw Dib here? He's not meant to be here, where is he?' Dib started backing down the corridor.

'He's just down there.' Zim pointed down the corridor Dib had stated to run down.

The guard ran past and got Dib in a flying tackle. 'Mr. Membrane will want to speak to you.' He turned towards Zim, 'and your little friend.'

He picked both Dib and Zim up and carried them off along a separate path.

-----

'This had better be important.' A voice said from behind a closed door.

'Yes, sir.' The guard said. 'It's about your son.'

'Come in then.' The door opened and the guard entered.

The room was brightly lit by a humming fluorescent tube. There was a lage bank of computer monitors, which Professor Membrane was sitting in front of. The monitors were displaying lage pieces of important information.

'What is this place?' Dib asked, 'Why haven't you told us about it?'

'Leave, Hummet.' Membrane said to the guard. 'And take the green child with you.' Hummet put Dib down and left, the door closing behind him. 'Dib, did anything happen to you, did you join any of the queues?'

Dib shook his head. 'Zim did though, I think. Did something happen to him? He's seems... different'

Membrane waved away his sons concerns. 'If he's bright like you say he is he'll be over it in a few days, and won't remember a thing. Now, what I am about to reveal to you is something I didn't want you to know until you were older, and more capable of handling the information. You know that I am a great inventor and scientist.' Dib nodded. 'I am though, too great. My mind cannot handle all the information I hold, all the wisdom, all the thoughts and ideas. I was almost insane by the time I was 20.'

Dib stood there, wondering if his father was going to get to the point any time soon.

'Before my intelligence took over completely, I had a brilliant idea. What if I took other people minds to store my intelligence in. Not their personalities, just their intelligence. Then I would be able to stay sane and still be the worlds foremost expert in everything.

'However, it's very hard to find subjects willing to have their brain capacity taken away from them, especially with the long term side-effects. This is why I had to undertake subterfuge to gather participants. It does have a few ethical problems, and long term consequences of reducing most of the towns IQ to near retarded levels, but these are all necessary. And the more people I harvest, the less I have to take. So you see son, it's all worth it.'

'Wait wait wait. ' Dib said. 'You've been stealing these peoples' intelligence so you didn't go crazy?! That's insane!'

'I knew you wouldn't understand.' He looked pointedly at Dib. 'Maybe that's why you're so insane. DO you want to try and use this? It'll be very good for you.'

'No! And I'm not crazy.' Dib looked around uncomfortably. 'I have to go and see what Zims up to.'

'Of course you do, Dib.' Membrane said good naturedly. 'I don't think he'll be up to playing for a few days. And if you want to give up on the paranormal, I'll be here.'

Dib left and closed the door behind him, leaving Membrane watching the screens. 'Hey!' he said. 'I wonder what Irken intelligence will do to his machines?' Dib walked off down the corridor, whistling a little tune as he went


End file.
